We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
