so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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