dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
