I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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