she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
