already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
