well you can't waste a boner
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
