Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
