You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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