Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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