Don't you send me to vm
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
