What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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