Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
