I just saw a hot homeless man
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
