"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize