he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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