Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
