distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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