bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize