I am puke
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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