I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
