May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
