Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
