Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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