The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
handjob tips. give me some.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
