Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize