Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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