Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
