he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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