Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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