Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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