I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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