Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
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Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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