i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
