Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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