dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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