Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
