we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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