you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
