lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
