Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
okay pat passed out under dana's car
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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