Umm I'm too high to move.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
