Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize