just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
