She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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