I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
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Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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