Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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