Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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