Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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