They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
someone owes me an orgasm
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
