i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
