Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
