we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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