can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize