He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
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Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
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Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.