haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
