I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.