he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention