what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
