this beer tastes like vomit already
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
