I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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