Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
