You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
